Author Just Didn't Care
by I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Summary: And you can instantly tell with one glance.


I don't own any Ben 10 characters, nor do I claim. BABYFIC IS GOOD! BABYSUEFIC IS BEST! But only when it's mine. Nobody else's. Plebs! You don't know anything about the canon. I turn my buttocks towards your general direction, so that you might smell of my farts of condescension, which are scented like roses. At least I prefer to imagine.

D'Void randomly appeared somewhere in the unspecified vicinity of his cute and cuddly little Mary Sue Null Guardian baby's custom designed baby crib, which they had, in the Null Void, because, gosh darn, it's cute. He made a happy fatherly smiley face.

"Time for bed, you little shits!" he cooed at them.

They screamed, and sob-shrieked, and clutched at their little stuffed toys. That they had. In their custom designed baby crib. In the Null Void.

"I'll shut you up by telling you a bedtime story. Even though, chances are, you don't understand human English as a language! But since this story, and every single one of the hundreds like it, is fucked beyond all reason, we'll go with it! It's cute, damn it!" he gushed.

And, suddenly...can you guess what happens? Can you? I'll wait.

Did you guess?

THE HELPERS, MANNY AND HELEN, SUDDENLY APPEARED, OUT OF NOWHERE! To further what little plot there was into furtherness.

"How the fuck do we keep randomly appearing out of thin air, in D'Void's posh mansion in the Null Void?! How do we keep getting past all the security, without Ben Tennyson's lazy ass around?!" Manny cried in frustration.

Helen put a hand on his shoulder. "It's best not to think about it."

Manny grabbed his head, struggling with the pain and confusion. "But...it...doesn't...MAKE ANY...FUCKING...SENSE!"

D'Void gave them the stink eye. "How dare you suddenly show up again out of thin air in my property to interrupt my absurd, cutesy-poo fluff scenario with my Null Guardian Mary Sue babies, and make them sob hysterically!" He shook his fist at them. "I'll kick your butts, but good!"

He chased them off. The baby Mary Sue things continued to sob hysterically, and never shut up. Ever. Or go away. Ever.

And hour or so later, D'Void came back, and dusted off his hands. "That'll show them jerks. I bet they won't show up out of thin air again, and dump more dumb, simple sentence expository dialogue lines recalling events in Voided at me, like they always do."

And then HELEN and MANNY magically appeared out of thin air again! Spouting more dumb, simple sentence expository dialogue lines recalling the events of Voided, like they always do. Gosh!

"Writing is hard!" they yelled in unison.

"Oh my God, shut up!" D'Void shouted. One of his ugly Sue babies tugged on his cape. He yanked it from the creature's filthy, wet maw. "YOU TOO! GOD DAMN!" It scream-sobbed-puked at him.

"Now we shall run away! Because! Uh," Helen said. "See ya!"

And then they ran away.

D'Void gave an angry sigh. "Once upon a time, in a pocket dimension, far, far away, an insane douchwad of a petty, self-absorbed, obsessed old mad scientist went hunting for new animal specimens in a pocket dimension and got stuck, inexplicably getting rebooted to a entirely different character design, appearing in a single, weird, yet entertaining episode, as a super powered, enlarged and muscular, ruthless overlord. But, for some other completely inexplicable reason, he then became ridiculously mischaracterized as a PETA activist animal lover whimpering uke person, who hysterically sobbed over dead animals, and became obsessively attached to some ridiculously annoying, perpetually screaming and crying baby Null Guardian Mary Sues, who he would spend the rest of his time making coo-coo cuteness fluff snuggle family scenes with, or sobbing hysterically over the endlessly reoccurring tragic deaths of, or dying tragically himself from mysterious unexplained illnesses, even though he was nigh invulnerable to everything, and that was the fucking point of the drama in the one episode, because nobody but Ben ever figured out how to defeat him up until that point. Sometimes he turned into a ghost, or a zombie, or a ghost-vampire-zombie. He sometimes ended up with exposed boxer shorts, or going on leisurely picnics, and baking cookies and brownies and cakes, in the kitchen of his posh mansion in the Null Void. Instead of battling Ben Tennyson, or being in scenarios showing the theoretical events that could have taken place that lead up to Voided, or anything else. Anything else but sobbing sobby sob mischaracterizations, and weird underwear fetishes, and obviously misogyny based abuse fetishes. Sometimes he battled the rebels and the Helpers, who appeared out of thin air to further the plot, once in a while. But mostly, he just felt empty inside, all day long, and wished for death. I mean, a death that didn't involve turning into a ghost afterwards!"

One of the Sue babies threw their rattle at him. It bounced off his forehead, with a loud crack.

"I hate my life," D'Void muttered. "I should have stayed on earth, or been a dentist, like mom wanted."

The END


End file.
